After your private investigator has provided you with evidence that your partner has cheated on you what is the next step? Will you go back together? This will only work if you have got over your addiction to your lover and you no longer feel a craving to talk to your lover. This is when you will be ready for guidance between you and your husband towards a deep love for each other after placing rules. Through these rules, you and your spouse will be soul mates again and usually this can take between six months to two years.
Here are four rules that a husband should follow to help heal the marriage.
For you two to properly get back to each other, you must both build back your love bank accounts. To do this, you will have to stop leaks in the love bank. Leaks in the love bank are when you and your husband hurt each other which would lead to unhappiness. It will make no sense trying to deposit love units into the bank and for it to be promptly withdrawn by pain. The leaks have to be plugged up.
What causes the leaks and the pain after infidelity is what his called Love Busters. These are the angry outburst, disrespectful judgements, annoying behaviour dishonesty and selfish demands. These are destructive habits that will ruin any relationship.
One way to get more love units into the bank is by meeting your spouse’s emotional needs. One way of doing this is by having conversations, affection, recreational companionship, sexual fulfillment and admiration. Unless both of you meet each other’s needs then the relationship will fail and will lead to another affair. If one spouse doesn’t know how to meet a certain need then s/he can learn how to do it. There are couples who have been counselled and they learnt on how to be affectionate for the first time in their lives. Through this second rule, work schedules won’t be a problem as you will both learn to make time for each other.
For a relationship to heal, both of you will have to set time aside to spend together. The people who give you undivided attention will be the ones who win your heart. It is suggested that every couple should spend at least 15 hours each week together giving each other undivided attention. The time should be used to meet each other’s emotional needs. As both spouses could be having hectic schedules for the week, they should both sit down and plan for the time together to see how they both will fit in each other’s lives.
Honesty is important in any relationship. The couple should communicate with each other openly and honestly. Being honest with one another will build trust and will let your husband or wife know where each of you are and what you are up to. If one person is having a problem in the relationship then it can be addressed in a safe environment. If one of you is unhappy, being honest will help find the root cause of the unhappiness and do everything to alleviate the problem. To be truly honest, the couples should keep anger and disrespect out of the honest conversation of facts and feelings.
If you are to follow the advice that is written here you wouldn’t need to hire a private investigator to see whether he is cheating on you or not.