Have you ever wanted to hear one of a private investigators best stories? Click on the video and turn your volume up to find out how you can catch a cheat and finally get your life back on track.
Hello my name is Charlie Hodgson and I am a chief investigator at private investigators UK. I have many years’ experience in investigating people to see if they are cheating, and over the years numerous people have asked me to come up with a simple and basic recipe that anyone could follow on “how to catch a cheater!” So here it is in a step by step format:
Step 1 – Keep A Facts Diary
When people first contact us it is because they THINK their partner is having an affair. They do not KNOW otherwise why they would contact us! They contact us because they know they need the FACTS because if they confronted their partner without facts it is only going to end badly. For example if their partner is having an affair they will lie, because cheats are liar and liars are cheat, and it becomes very hard to collect any facts in the future as their partner will become very careful and devious in hiding the affair. If their partner is NOT having an affair there is a real chance the relationship will be ruined as a relationship is based on mutual trust.
So the first step is you need to keep a facts diary. Why? Because when dealing with cheaters I have found lies, confusion, rumour and misdirection are common place. Cheats will say things that keep you confused and unsure. But most people cannot keep there lies consistent. The fact diary show the holes in their story because facts don’t lie. For example when does your partner gets dressed up and disappear for a few hours, THEY say they are going to town but a friend see them 3 miles away outside a village pub. You need to record the facts of the event; the date, time, the fact your partner got dressed up, where they said they were going, the name and location of the village pub they were seen outside and the friend that told you this fact. The golden rule tough of keeping the fact diary is only put in fact NOT emotion or what you THINK is happening. Never mix fact with anything else. If you find your thoughts, ideas or emotions are filling your head have a second diary and write these down in what I call the “emotions” diary. Keep the facts diary for what it is meant for – i.e. collecting facts, ideally facts corroborate by someone else or by photograph or video evidence.
Step 2 – Collect Facts About Close Associations Of Your Partner
Over the years at private investigators UK we have found that approximately 70% of people will be having affairs with people they know. This group is made up of Friends, family, work colleagues and other close associations for example fellow gym members. Write down in your facts dairy everyone, including family, that your partner know from these groups. Write down all the FACTS you know about them. Start with the simple things like age, sex, height etc. and then work up to more interesting facts like, are they single or have they recently become single? Do they live alone? What is the time you know they are alone? Have they ever flirted with your partner? Are they unhappy with their current partner? Also ask these people when they have seen your partner last, who they were with etc. and try and corroborate with them any fact you have collected.
Step 3 – Identify The Missing 30%
In the last step I mentioned that approximately 70% of people had affairs with people you already know or people from activities that you already know about; for example people your partner meets when they visit the gym. What if your partner is having an affair with someone you don’t know? Where could your partner meet these people? Generally via prostitution, dating sites and people they have met through the internet. The sex industry works primarily in cash so go through all your bank accounts and identify whether regular amount of cash are being taken out and on which days and dates. If your partner receives cash for anything, for example work, does what they spend match the amount they received? Record all your findings in your facts diary.
If your partner has met someone through the internet say through the Facebook, or dating sites such as tinder they will be using these sites to organize when they will meet a possible new lover. If you think your partner is contacting people in this way set up a profile and interact with his or her profile. You know their likes so it is very easy to attract them in and hook them. You will be surprised what happens and the facts learn! Again record all facts in your facts diary.
Step 4 – See What Your Partner Messages They Send To Others
Ask yourself a simple question. Can you easily see the message that your partner sends to any person OR is it difficult? For example do they have a pin lock or password on their computer or phone? Do they wear their phone like a second skin? People that are not open with their partner about who and what they are messaging generally have something to hide. Record the facts about how difficult it is to see their messages and also when they are sending message that you do not see. A word of warning! Many people get fixated on these message and believe by seeing them all the facts will be revealed. Whenever our clients describe the messages they have seen they tend to be messages like “I miss you” or “I cannot wait to see you” the messages rarely say anything about who this person is, or when and where their partner is meeting them. Use the fact that your partner is hiding their message as motivation to collect hard indisputable fact as quickly as possible because if they are hiding their message there is a huge chance that something is very wrong!
Step 5 – When? Where? And With Whom?
If someone is having an affair you need to answer 3 simple questions when? Where? And with Whom? Once you have 2-3 weeks of facts in your diary you need to see what patterns have appeared that answer the 3 questions. I have always been amazed how once the facts have been collected the patterns jump out from the pages. To answer the first question of When, look through the diary and look for unaccounted for time or time your partner got dressed up and went out. Is there a time of day or a specific time in the week you can see your partner lied about where they were or you don’t know where they were? Next focus on the question of “Where”. Did friends or family tell you a place they had seen your partner, kind a little village pub, and does this correspond with a diary entry of when your partner dress up and disappeared for a few hours. Finally look at the question of “With Whom?” Does the answers you found for “When?” correspond with a time when a friend, college or family member if free and alone? Is their 1 specific person that keeps cropping up? If you are unsure what you think is and is not a pattern call us for free advice.
Step 6 – Pro-Active Investigation Work
If at the end of step 5 you still have not found the answers to all the questions then it is time to start pro-active investigation work. Identify questions you would like answers to, and systematically start finding facts via tracking, investigation work or covert surveillance. In other words get out there and start proactively collecting the facts. Keep going until you have answers all your remaining questions and have undisputed fact! Do not leave any stone unturned. Remember cheats are liars and if you leave any hole in your evidence they will try to wriggle out. Once you have collected all the fact go back to step 5 and check all your questions have been answered. If not repeat steps 5 and 6 until they have.
Over the years I have found this simple 6 step process to work very well in the vast majority of cases. If you feel your case is not the norm or if you need any help or advice with any of the steps please do not hesitate to call us for free advice at private investigators UK.
Good luck with your own investigation into finding the truth about your partner, and you never know it may be the start of a very interesting and rewarding career!