I Know My Husband Is Having An Affair But How Can I Prove It?

Hello, my name is Charlie Hodgson, and I’m a chief investigator of Private Investigators UK. Over the years, I’ve worked on many weird and wonderful cases that many people have found to be very interesting and often funny. Although the names, dates and places have been changed to protect the innocent, the cases I’m going to talk about are all very real. The case I’m going to share with you today is, “I know my husband’s having an affair. But how? Because I know where he is all the time.” A very unhappy and confused lady called Cheryl gave us a call.

Husband Having An Affair

She was absolutely adamant that her husband Roger was having an affair. She could see all the classic signs. He’d become distant, he was hiding his phone, he was wearing it like a second skin — and he bought himself new underwear that she hadn’t seen. Yet, the problem was, she knew where he was all the time. I said to her, “How?” Sheryl explained that they both run a shop together. The shop was actually part of the house. Not only that, they had CCTV which Sheryl could actually access remotely — when she wasn’t in the shop, she could see exactly where Roger was.

Their daily routine was very simple. They get up, they open the shop up, they work together, they close the shop up. In the evenings, they went to the gym, which they happened to have as part of their house. Apart from Monday and Wednesday where Roger went rugby training, he had to do that, because if he didn’t train he couldn’t play — and he went straight back afterwards.

So she knew where he was all the time. I asked what was his routine at the weekend, which she said, “On a Saturday, he tended to have a lie-in and then he’d get up and he’d go to rugby.” Now, she’d gone for 20 years with him to watch him play rugby, she used to go with him. In the Saturday after the game, they’d either go with friends or family. On a Sunday, both Cheryl and Roger would go to mini rugby with their two boys. Roger would coach, Cheryl would watch. Then they came back, had Sunday lunch, and Roger tended to snooze in front of the television on a Sunday afternoon.

When To Start The Investigation?

Cheryl was so confused and unhappy because she was convinced she could see an affair, but she was also equally convinced he had no time to do it. Over the years, I found it very common for people to have a very set idea of what’s going on, but the job of a private investigator is to actually prove the facts. So if someone is having an affair, there’s always on account his full time. The fact the only time that Sheryl could not physically see Roger was when he went rugby training, this is where we must start our investigation.

It took me 20 minutes to convince Sheryl to do the surveillance. She kept arguing — she knew he was going rugby training. But my argument was very simple, it’s the only time you do not see exactly what he’s doing. So the next Monday, we followed Roger down to training. Along the journey to the rugby club, we were half-expecting him to turn off and go somewhere else — but no, Roger actually did go to training. He got out of the car, he got changed, and started actually training. Maybe Roger wasn’t having an affair.

Suddenly, 40 minutes into the two hour training session — Roger stopped. He waved to the other guys, got in the car, and drove off. We left one operative at the rugby club to make some inquiries, while the other followed Roger. Within five minutes, the operative at the rugby club radioed through to explain Roger’s routine. Roger told the club he had a bad back —  he had sciatica, which meant he could only train for a maximum of 40 minutes. Before then, he needed some physio. The club agreed that the 40 minutes was enough training to allow Roger to play at the weekend.

At Private Investigators UK, we found over the years that the best cover stories for an affair have elements of truth to them — and Roger’s was perfect. His dirty kit would look and smell as it normally does, and if anyone asked, he’d definitely been to training. The operative following Roger now knew something was going to happen. Just at that moment, Roger turns off the main road, takes the second left, drives on over a hundred yards, and stops. The operative following Roger now knew exactly what Roger was up to. He’d been working the local area as a surveillance officer for over 15 years, and this was a notorious massage parlor. He now knew the reason why Roger was hiding his mobile phone. To get into the parlor, need to have pre-booked via mobile, and you send a code to get through the door.

Sure enough, Roger walks up to the door, enters the pin, and goes inside — carrying his kit bag with him. An hour later, Roger left the massage parlor, all showered and changed, and drove home. In the meantime, the second surveillance operate left the rugby club as people started to leave after having a shower. He drove back to Cheryl and Roger’s house, and I drive back almost exactly the same time as Roger and the first surveillance operate. This shows that Roger’s alibi was perfectly planned as he was arriving back at exactly the same time as he was from the massage parlor, as he would have been from training.

So Cheryl was right all along — she could see the signs of a cheating partner, but she confused herself by assuming she knew exactly where Roger was all the time. What this case shows is, never assume you know where someone is — no matter how long they’ve been doing the same routine. Collect the facts, either by you physically seeing it with your own eyes, or a representative photograph given from an expert such as a private investigator.