Life after an extramarital affair can go one of the two ways – partners can split up and the marriage would be over, or they could do their best to save it. The question is – how can they preserve the relationship?
Whether the affair was revealed accidentally or with the help of a private investigator, once it’s out in the open, the partners can work through it. The event of an affair can trigger all kinds of responses, and few of them can actually help move on. How it is dealt with depends entirely on the people involved in the partnership.
After An Affair
In recent years, the number of affairs has increased rapidly and the divorce rate isn’t far behind. The institution of marriage has suffered several blows from the rapid advancements of instant gratification culture. People are different, however, and have always been, so infidelities mean different things to different couples. If a person believes that there are certain lines one shouldn’t cross and infidelity is high up on the list, it is unlikely that they would be able to preserve their relationship. If, however, both partners want nothing more than to move past it, forgiveness can be achieved and the marriage can go on.
The Cheater And The Forgiver
The essence of moving on and working on the marriage is forgiveness. However, there are two sides to this – the cheater and the forgiver. It’s just as important for the latter to make an effort as for the former to earn their forgiveness. Ultimately, it’s all down to the choices they both make in relation to each other and their marriage. Every revolution begins within the individual, and evolving the marriage is no exception – relationships thrive because people involved in them thrive and they go south when one or both parties stops making an effort. If the parties choose to continue resenting each other and direct all their energies into that, they would eventually end up hating each other and divorce would be inevitable.
Like many other traumatic events, a husband’s or a wife’s infidelity is both an obstacle and a second chance – once again, it’s up to the partners to choose which one. If, for example, a private investigator reveals to a suspecting wife that her husband is unfaithful, she can either leave him without any explanation or she can choose to have an open discussion and they both can decide what to do next. If she chooses the latter approach, both she and her husband need to figure out what was wrong in the marriage and change the marriage into a different, more successful one.
Living a married life after an affair won’t be easy and both partners would both make mistakes along the way, but if they’re both committed to the choice of saving their marriage, it can be done. A brand new marriage between two brand new people, built on love and trust, is a wonderful thing that is much better than resentment and bitterness.