Why Do Men Cheat

Hello my name is Charlie Hodgson and I am a chief investigator at Private Investigators UK. I have spent many years investigating cases of infidelity and have investigated hundreds of male cheats, and it got me thinking about why do men cheat? While I could not tell you ALL the reason why men cheat I can share with you the most common reason given by male cheats we have caught or their partner for why the affair occurred.

No Willpower

Some people just cannot control themselves. Unfortunately some men’s brains are in their trousers and not in their heads. Any woman they see; they take an interest in and they will pursue any opportunity that can to have a sexual liaison. The old fashioned idea of male only clubs may seem sexist in this modern age but if your partner has no willpower 30 years ago he could go out to a male only club, have a great night out, but you knew that there was no temptation. Unfortunately in the 21^st century temptation is everywhere especially with the invention of the internet and the mobile phone. Now an attractive woman is only a click away. Cheats of this type we have caught say they wished the world had less temptations, that they feel helpless and are unable to stop cheating.

Needing Variety In Their Life

At some time in our lives, for one reason or another, we all get ourselves into a rut where everything seems boring and the same. What we start to crave is variety because variety is the spice of life. Men that I have investigated that give the reason for cheating being that they needed variety in their lives generally share the following characteristics. They tend to be in their early to mid-30s; have a young family that takes up all their leisure time and a middle management job that is stressful and each day is the same boring routine. Suddenly a female takes an interest in them. They feel alive again. What the harm in a little flirting? But unfortunately it does not stop there. What started off being a little “pick me up” turns into a full blown affair because they become addicted to the variety the new relationship brings.

Feeling Neglected

Relationships are generally built on two people fulfilling each other’s emotion and physical needs. When a relationship is in its infancy both people spend every waking moment thinking about or being with the other person. As the relationship matures this changes as work, leisure interests, friends and family commitments start to take up both people’s time and energy. This can go too far until one or both people feel unwanted and neglected. Men that state this is the reason that they cheated describe how their partner getting a new job or them having children means their partner no longer have the time for them. Unfortunately sooner rather than later their need to fulfil their emotional and physical needs leads to an affair.

Greed

Some people just want everything. They’re simply greedy. Not matter how good life is at home they just what anything and everything they can get their hands on. They are just the sort of person that is never satisfied. I have spoken to many woman that have greedy men. They say that no matter how hard they try their partner just wants more. Generally when these type of men are found to be cheating they rarely seem to care and some have said the desire to have everything. My own very personal opinion is that if your man is the greedy type, change them as they are going to cheat at some point.

Trophy Woman

While I do not agree that it is right some men do not see their woman as an equal or a true life partner. They see them as a possession and rank them on the same level as their flash cars. Over the years I have investigated many such men and the background to the relationships are usually very similar. Typically the man in the relationship is a successful business man. All his focus is on building his career. The woman is usually 10-15 years his junior. The relationship work by him giving her anything money can buy and in return she uses some of that money to stay fit, look fabulous, be immaculately dressed and a fantastic hostess for his business associates. A common term for this kind of kept woman is a “Trophy Woman” or “Trophy Wife”. The problems start when the man feels that it is time to trade the woman in for a newer younger model or a woman that can help him get further in his career. This type of man is very cold and unemotional when the affair is discovered and generally sees the change as being just part of business.

Lack of Intimacy At Home

Natural men have a need to procreate. It is natural built-in instinct that has been present for millions of years. No matter whether your man has a high or low sex drive if this natural urge is not satisfied the chances of him straying increase massively. You can argue whether the need to satisfy this natural urge is right or wrong but the fact is it is there and will not go away. Men that have cheated for this reason talk of the struggle that they have had. On one hand they talk of the love they feel for their partner and on the other hand they talk of their need to satisfy their primeval needs.

Whatever the reason for a man cheating an affair causes utter devastation not just to the couple directly involved but children, friends and family. Remember a relationship is built on intimacy, not just physical but also mentally, so if you notice your man becoming distance or you are a man that is starting to feel any of the above feelings talk to each other. Fix the problem before it gets out of hand. Just remember why you were attracted to each other in the first place and start to rekindle that flame!