Surviving a spouse’s infidelity is one of the hardest things a person in a marital relationship can go through. If, however, neither of the spouses is ready or willing to terminate the relationship, they would have to work hard in order to preserve it.
Get Everything In The Open
For starters, the spouses must get everything in the open – the cheated partner might have had already received some information from a private investigator or in any other way, but it’s best to reveal everything that has passed between the cheater and the other party. What had been found by a private investigator would be eye-opening, but once all the details and secrets are out, both partners can start to recover. If the cheater is holding something back and the cheated spouse doesn’t ever want to discuss the affair, it would just make moving on harder. And generally, talking and acknowledging the problem is very beneficial for the marriage.
The cheater must also do their best to cut that other party out of their life. Sometimes that may involve changing jobs if the romance began at work.
Empathy And Patience Are Also Significant
Getting over a spouse’s infidelity is a long, hard and painful process and the cheater must not rush the spouse or belittle their reactions. Any reaction they may have is understandable at this point, even though the cheater believes that they would never have an affair again – their spouse doesn’t know that. Forgiveness is a long and painful process and must happen naturally, with the unfaithful partner making the effort and not resenting their husband or wife for taking their time.
A partner whose spouse has cheated may have hired a private investigator to find out the details, which is an excellent starting point. But asking the cheater questions is also important for figuring out the marital problems and choosing where to go from there. It would also contribute greatly to the healing process and prevent the cheater from obsessing about the little details for years.
However, it is not a good idea to have the affair rule over the marriage. It’s important to take the time to deal with it, one day at a time, but letting it take over the relationship would place a roadblock on it, preventing it from advancing beyond failed attempts to move on and forgive.
Working through the aftermath of the affair won’t be easy for either partner because they both have to deal with some things before they can forgive or be forgiven, and it is therefore vital for the marriage to be more than “the life after infidelity”. Taking the time to enjoy the things partners used to love doing together before the affair would help balance their lives out and realise that the marriage is worth preserving.