Although both men and women may enter extramarital affairs for reasons that aren’t too different, like unsatisfied emotional or sexual needs, the attitudes of a cheated wife and a cheated husband towards their unfaithful partners are quite different. While wives are mostly willing and prepared to forgive their husbands for straying, the husbands aren’t quite so lenient, even though nowadays the amount of women who choose to be unfaithful is almost equal to that of unfaithful husbands. While this increased number of affairs may mean more work for a private investigator, a husband might be much more reluctant to hire one to investigate his wife for the reasons below.
The actions of their unfaithful wives as blows to their very sense of self, their identity and masculinity. Forgiveness is very hard when a person’s very own self-worth has been wounded like that. Husbands of adulterous wives are more concerned with the sexual subtext of their wives’ affairs, whereas the cheated wives are threatened more by an emotional connection between the husband and his lover. A man’s sexual identity is said to be a big part of him and when a wife is unfaithful, her actions hurt him very deeply. Perhaps there is a direct correlation between a man’s identity, of which manhood is a big part, and his reduced ability to sense problems that aren’t visible to the naked eye.
Men have always been seen as the sex that is more likely to stray, which perhaps is the reason why it is harder for them to see and believe that their wives are cheating and therefore, they are less likely to get a private investigator involved.
Reasons Of Cheating
Men have traditionally been perceived as bad communicators, which is very dangerous for any relationship. Many wives start having affairs because of the issues at home, such as children taking up too much time and leaving little time and energy for anything else. Their emotional and sometimes sexual needs aren’t the priority – taking care of the household and the family is – and that can be very exhausting and emotionally draining. If she feels like she can’t rely on her husband to help her through it, which can happen due to his weak ability to communicate and to meet her emotional needs, an affair with someone who can meet those needs would feel fantastic for her.
It may be extremely difficult for a husband to forgive his wife and for a marriage to survive her infidelity, but it can be done. If both the husband and the wife are willing and determined to get through adultery together, they must both fully commit to each other and their marriage. Secrets are very dangerous at that point and trust must be rebuilt, which would involve removing the wife’s lover out of the picture completely – and sometimes that would mean sacrificing certain things, for example a job where the wife had met her lover. Counselling might also be a helpful start.